Lilirose Luo

“What is your favorite artwork?”

Curatorial Rationale

My theme began as an exploration of the transience present in life, but ultimately progressed to a more complex, encompassing theme of self-portraits. I realized that on a personal & artistic level, my portrayal of “the meaning of life” was, more accurately, my portrayal of the meaning of myself. I hope to present viewers with an unconventional examination of “self-portraiture” that expands past the individual self & into communal interactions with identities, individuals, & society.

Because my theme originated as transience, my initial works are illustrated with varied mediums to portray constantly evolving perspectives. Inspired by two Asian-American queer poets like myself, Self-Portrait as Postcards draws on experiences with immigration & translation, especially communicating personal identity across borders & languages. Through combined blackout poetry and textile work, I examine language in terms of my sexuality; I’m able to discover English community & terminology, but struggle connecting to my queerness in my native Chinese tongue. In Self-Portrait as Teenage Bedroom, I synthesize Larry Clark’s gritty monochrome confessional style & a limited perspective to capture my experiences with the physical stagnancy of clinical depression, which I was diagnosed with in 2021. Through symbols such as a movie poster of Lady Bird, digital pixels, sheared-off hair, I establish dated references to this time period, which function two-fold as a reinforcement of the internalized violence of mental health. Self-Portrait as Devotion & Self-Portrait as Ma both work as explorations of my gendered femme identity & violence intertwined with it; the previous situates these themes in contexts of religion & myths, with line weight & nature symbolism inspired by Alphonse Mucha, while the latter grounds them in my own perspective of my mother.

However, as my theme shifted to self-portraiture, my medium largely transferred to digital art. Despite the widely differing styles of Self-Portrait as Artist, Self-Portrait as Car Window, Self-Portrait as Memory, & Self-Portrait as Maps, these works move away from the physical tangibility of previous traditional art into exploring a more abstract conceptualization of self. I begin to focus on subjects that subvert the physical expectations of a self portrait; I indirectly portray myself through my parents, my reflection, & even maps that mimic the lines of a human face. Self Portrait as Decomposition’s elements of vertical composition, nature symbolism, & visible texture through pencil strokes are reminiscent both Self-Portrait as Teenage Bedroom & Self-Portrait as Devotion; through this piece’s bright, polychrome colors & boundary-defining viewpoint, I rework previous interactions of self with cycles of death into more communal, global perspectives.

I intended to design this exhibition to move the viewer from a physical, limited understanding of the self to a more abstract, community-influenced perception of the self. The shape of the exhibition follows the visual hill-like format of a Hero’s Journey; the art pieces gradually move upward from Self-Portrait as Postcards’ low position, climaxing at the high center of the exhibition with Self-Portrait as Artist’s fluorescent hues, & then ultimately lowering back into acceptance with Self-Portrait as Maps. Additionally, the viewer’s chance to physically interact with & define my identity through their own perspective evolves as well— at the beginning, they must walk around the 3D installation of Self-Portrait as Postcards, which in combination with the movement-based threads, offers viewers uniquely different perspectives on the piece, from which they synthesize individual conclusions. By the end with Self-Portrait as Maps, viewers can move around & connect the map “pieces” to the guiding “canvas” with Velcro fasteners, allowing them to create a communal portrait of me from their own understanding of maps, self-portraits, & me. Ultimately, I hope for viewers to question their own sense of self beyond just physical boundaries & perspectives, into the much more deeper & intimate conceptions, communities, & identities that build self.

Lilirose’s Art Work

  • Self-Portrait as Postcards, 2023

    Mixed Media (Acrylic Paint, Embroidery Thread on paper)
    20 cm x 15 cm

    Self-Portrait as Postcards reinvents Asian-American poets Eunice Kim’s poem “self-portrait as dialogue” and Fiona Lu’s poem “Turing Test” as 3D postcards. Postcards represent limited forms of communication & connection due to physicality; through a blackout poetry medium, simultaneously fragile and restrictive textile work, and zoomed-in perspectives of my face, I explore how reliance on language-based labels and corporeal bodies create fundamentally limited perspectives on self-identity.

  • Self-Portrait as Teenage Bedroom, 2023

    Graphite on Paper
    25 x 45 cm

    Self-Portrait as Teenage Bedroom’s monochrome style and teenage subject are inspired by Larry Clark’s “Everytime I See You Punk You're Gonna Get the Same”. The dark values and gritty texture of a crowded, darkly lit bedroom based on my own portrays my experiences with mental health & its surrounding stigma. The limited bird’s-eye perspective and contrast of light serve to both ground the viewer in the physical restrictions of the piece and hint at a more hopeful future.

  • Self-Portrait as Devotion, 2024

    Watercolor on paper
    38.2 cm x 13.5 cm

    Self-Portrait as Devotion explores my relationship with femininity and the violence often interlinked with it. Inspired both by a quote from the poem Churching by Kristin Chang and Art Nouveau artists, I illustrated this piece as a triptych separated into the myth of Tantalus, Prometheus, and Pelops. These symbols’ religious and mythical connotations further emphasize the societal demands of simultaneous endurance of, devotion to, and beauty in the face of violence from women.

  • Self-Portrait as Ma, 2023

    Mixed Media (Charcoal, Chalk Pastel, Colored Pencil on paper)
    30.5 cm x 45.7 cm

    Self Portrait as Ma redefines of generational womanhood— and the fundamental strength and gore behind “feminine” tasks such as cooking and birth, despite society’s devaluing of them. It maintains a sharp contrast between the horror-esque elements of charcoal-smudged gore and shadows, and the softer chalk pastel light of the kitchen. My ma gazes out from over her shoulder, a moment of stillness amongst the violent dismemberment of a carcass.

  • Self-Portrait as Artist, 2024

    Digital art on Ibis Paint X
    30.5 cm x 45.7 cm

    Self-Portrait as Artist presents an artist's breaking point. Mirrors showcase our presentations of self; this figure has defined their personal identity so exclusively through artistic merit that their mirror, symbolically also a canvas, presents a jumbled, inhumane self. The fluorescent, expressively rendered figure of the artist contrasts against the wispy, monochrome mirror. However, the bright, circular focal point of the eyes hint at a hopeful uncovering of the self underneath.

  • Self-Portrait as Memory, 2023

    Digital art on Ibis Paint X
    30.5 cm x 45.7 cm

    Self-Portrait as Memory     portrays my parent’s recollections of them as high-school sweethearts in their year of separation before the 高考, China’s national college entrance exam. The yellowed background, awash with faded sunlight, evokes a sense of nostalgia. Through the red focal point of the flowers, the viewer is drawn back to present-day connotations of this piece— an indirect self-portrait portraying my familial lineage and history.

  • Self-Portrait as Car Window, 2023

    Digital art on Ibis Paint X
    30.5 cm x 45.7 cm

    Self-Portrait as Car Window is based on photos I took on a roadtrip touring California colleges last summer. Through shifting reflections in the car window, I wanted to portray the understanding and acceptance of large changes in my future. Seats in cars represent shifting roles of responsibility to me— the driver versus the passenger. The car’s interior darkness contrasts against the bright golden hues of the landscape outside, drawing the viewer into a constant sense of forward motion.

  • Self-Portrait as Decomposition, 2024

    Colored pencil on paper
    33 x 20 cm

    Self-Portrait as Decomposition challenges Western stigma against death through artistic rendition of the cycle between life and death. In vivid bursts of colored pencil, it links together symbols of living deer, a forest, fireflies, the human body, soil, and all earthly processes in itself. Through vivid bursts of colored pencil and a omnipresent perspective, it re-orients my identity & the human experience of life as simply part of a larger, perpetually interconnected world.

  • Self-Portrait as Maps, 2023

    Digital art on Ibis Paint X
    30.5 cm x 45.7 cm

    Self-Portrait As Maps subverts traditional self-portraiture, instead presenting a face made entirely of maps to remind viewers of the communal connections behind self. Each image is rendered in diversely different colors, lines, and textures, separated into equal squares. I aimed to emphasize each image not just as physical locations, but the emotional and social connotations behind them— ants as a memory of childhood sweetness and detail, skin cells as a nod towards biology.